The smart guy’s guide to meeting women – Metro

Let me tell you a story about how not to pick up women.

I was recently approached in the middle of a mall in the middle of the day. Romeo invaded my personal space, dropped alternately flattering and suggestive comments and generally made me feel uncomfortable.

Before slinking away, he gave me his phone number. (It has since been circular filed.) Without a doubt, this was the work of a pick-up artist.

Pick-up artists are a subculture of men who liken dating to a sporting event. The objective? Score as many touchdowns as humanly possible.

While I take issue with many of these real-life Leisure Suit Larrys, I do have to give them a little credit. There is one thing these men are doing right.

They are talking to women.

But how can decent, relationship-seeking dudes meet women without being lumped in with methodical sleazebags?

Here are some pointers from me and my babe friends:

  • Talk to women in bars, cafes, restaurants, book stores and at social events. Try not to corner us on the street, on public transit (where there is no easy means of escape) or when we’re clearly busy
  • Say Hi. If we respond curtly and our body language makes it obvious that we would prefer to be alone, leave
  • Referring to women as “fine females” won’t earn you any brownie points, lady-killer
  • Neither will hitting on the friend of a woman who just rejected your advances
  • Ask open and thoughtful questions. “How are you doing this evening?” will absolutely fail. “Nice button, I like that band, too. Have you ever seen them live?” is a conversation-starter
  • Sexual innuendo within the first few minutes of meeting = ick
  • Manners are sexy (eyes up here, gents!)
  • Don’t ask for our number right off the bat — this is something you earn
  • We like sincere compliments
  • We like it when you listen
  • Do not touch us (unless we touch you first)
  • Flirting with a stranger you find attractive and intriguing is cool. Pouncing, serial-style, on a multitude of ladies? Not so super cool.

There you have it, fellas. Free advice! And all the money you’ve just saved on how-to books and classes can be spent on buying dinner for a smart and pretty girl.