I recently participated in a charity bachelorette auction.
I wore a cleavage-baring dress, got my hair done and assumed that I would raise a pile of cash for the worthy charity in question.
I was up for auction at the very beginning of the night. Everyone was sober and pocketbooks were sealed tight. The emcee listed off my charms.
“Can I hear one hundred dollars?”
Unless you’ve stared into a silent crowd of beautiful people who do not wish to bid on a dream date with you, kindly never speak to me about humiliation.
And just as I began to relive every classroom taunt and failed romantic approach in my past, “One hundred dollars!” rang a golden voice from the crowd.
“We’ve got one hundred! Can I hear one-twenty-five?”
“One twenty five!” yelled the same voice gleefully.
And then it was over. Dazed, I wandered offstage and threw myself into the arms of my golden-voiced saviour – a dear friend who perpetually has my back.
My golden-voiced friend is brilliant, kind and possesses the classic good looks of a matinee idol. We support each other. We nerd out about music. He is generous with his advice, affirmations and nice-smelling man hugs.
If you were to look up the word “platonic” in the dictionary, there would be our picture, all smiles.
I think of this friend and one or two others with whom I share strong emotional bonds as a bizarre but welcome combination of adopted brother and surrogate boyfriend.
Certain friendships are so close that they can sometimes feel downright romantic. Call it fromance.
Jessie’s relationship with her best friend and former roommate was so intense, for a while it almost felt as though they were dating.
“We had this fan club of two going on,” she says. “Increasingly, my interactions with other people, other friends, felt less satisfying than the time I spent with her.”
Jessie was dating pretty consistently during their friendship, but when her roommate and best friend fell in love, Jessie felt jealousy.
“But that doesn’t seem like the right word. I wanted her to meet someone, and I wanted her to be happy, of course! I think what actually happened when she got serious about this fellow is all that light she’d been shining on me she was now shining on someone else. I still wanted to stay up all night arguing about politics and Battlestar Galactica and she did not. At least, not all the time.”
Things eventually got tense and the pair stopped speaking for a period of time. They eventually rebuilt their friendship, but it was never quite the same.
“Now we’re kind of like exes who’ve become friends,” Jessie explains. “That sounds more fraught than it is. I think we both have a much wider and varied group of friends now than we did then.”
Amy and Whitney describe their decade-long friendship as a “love story.”
“(Our relationship) is like a combination of being friends, family and romantic partners,” says Amy. “There’s just something really special about the way we interact with and consider one another.”
Although Amy recently married and moved to a different continent, the duo’s bond remains solid.
Says Whitney, “We both know that no one person or relationship can fulfill every need you might have for another person.”
Amy agrees that her marriage didn’t replace what she has with Whitney. “There are things I share with her — from secrets to life plans — that are just ours,” she says. “We’ve actually joked about throwing a party to celebrate our love because it’s pretty strange that people spend so much time on weddings, but so little celebrating amazing, loving and life-changing friendships.”
Sexy Typewriter blogs about her dating failures – online and otherwise – at Sexytypewriter.com