With wedding season officially underway, the final touches are being placed on seating arrangements, cakes are being iced in fondant and countless pairs of satin bridesmaid shoes are being dyed every conceivable shade of magenta.
“We’re supposed to have just a small family affair,” Prince William quipped to his soon-to-be father-in-law Michael Middleton in Westminster Abbey. No such luck.
Amid the hubbub, planning, pageantry and trying to please everyone, do brides and grooms (royal or otherwise) start to lose sight of themselves?
Joshua Ostroff, music editor of AOL’s Spinner.ca, married the love of his life in 2003. He and his bride managed to balance the expectations of their families with their own must-haves for the big day.
“It took place in the farmland-surrounded yard of (my wife’s) childhood heritage home. We wrote the entire service ourselves and had one of our best friends conduct the ceremony,” Ostroff says. “The groomsmen and I all rocked Pumas. We walked down the aisle to the Beatles, had our first dance to Beth Orton and last dance to Metric. Homer and Marge topped our wedding cake.”
Ostroff thinks that being true to your own personalities and tastes in planning a wedding is important, but it shouldn’t preclude tradition: “Customize the past to fit your present.”
Stephanie Taccogna never had champagne wishes or taffeta dreams. “I was a tomboy growing up. Although I always knew that I would like to get married, I never actually dreamed about what it would be like,” she says.
Taccogna and her beloved had originally planned a destination wedding, but then decided upon a very small wedding at a picturesque mansion. When their guest list started ballooning, they worried that their intimate wedding plans were being derailed – and budget was a growing concern.
“We very quickly realized that as soon as you mention the word ‘wedding,’ prices rise very quickly…Before we knew it we were heading for a $40,000 wedding, which was exactly what we had tried to avoid by having a small wedding,” she says.
The couple eventually returned to their original destination-wedding plan. They were surprised by how supportive their loved ones had been of the idea in the first place.
“When we first ran the destination wedding idea by (our families), we thought they would be upset and even disappointed, so we had prepared for the worst. To our surprise they were actually excited by the idea!” Taccogna says. “They told us that we could do anything that we wanted since it was our day and therefore entirely up to us.”
“If that is what feels right for them, they should go for it,” says Amy Bielby, associate editor at Today’s Bride. “Every couple is different and should plan their wedding to please themselves, not everyone else in their lives. Just be sure to think things through.
“The drawback to a small ceremony or eloping is that you may miss having all of your friends and family in attendance,” Bielby says. “And you may never have the chance to wear a ball gown again!”
While many brides (and some grooms) dream of epic fairytale weddings in majestic abbeys and shy kisses on palace balconies, others want simpler affairs. One luxury that Kate and William lacked was a wedding of their choosing. Perhaps they would have preferred a ceremony and reception at a tiny farmhouse in the English countryside. Maybe even a Vegas quickie, with an Elvis impersonator in place of the Archbishop of Canterbury.
Lucky for us, we’re not royalty; we have the choice to make our special day our own.
Sexy Typewriter blogs about her dating failures – online and otherwise – atSexytypewriter.com.