One of my superpowers is that I am an excellent judge of character. It doesn’t take long for me to decipher whether someone is a good-hearted and decent soul or if they should be avoided at all costs. This is as true for potential friends as it is potential dates.
Unfortunately, not everyone shares this superpower. And sometimes, wonderful people get romantically involved with the deeply unworthy. Over the years, I have regrettably had several pals pair up with arrogant, ignorant, ambition-free jerk festivals.
It’s a tricky position to be in, hating the partner of a friend. Faking enthusiasm and friendliness when you’re forced to share the same airspace gets old. It’s not easy, biting your tongue until it bleeds.
Several years ago, I met a close friend’s boyfriend for the first time. He picked us up in his car and promptly sparked a joint behind the wheel. He later yelled at an elderly relative, accusing her of stealing his liquor.
It was a banner Friday night.
My friend is no longer with this boy. This was a decision she made on her own. It was not influenced by the fact that her family/friends were clearly not fans.
When people fall in love, the flaws of their partners tend to be muted because they are thoroughly wrapped up in a magical world of puppies and kittens and butterflies and red velvet cupcakes and baby birds made out of marzipan.
It’s a huge risk to let a friend know that you don’t approve of their significant other. For some, anyone who does not love their lover becomes The Enemy. Logic and emotion are like oil and water. Speaking up about your reservations is a quick and easy way to make a friendship super awkward. Or end it.
For some, dating someone sub-par is preferable to being single. It’s like a sad game of musical chairs; people scrambling to grab the nearest available chair, utterly terrified of being the one left standing.
But those with strong senses of self are fine to stand for a few rounds. Why rush to sit in a crappy chair that will give you splinters and quite possibly collapse?
If your particular “chair” is the product of shoddy craftsmanship, chuck it to the curb. Because somewhere, there is a kick-ass heated orthopedic chair with a built-in massage mechanism and a lifetime guarantee that’s got your name on it.